Outpatient intensive therapy

Healthy coping skills didn't cut it this late afternoon.  I had to take a lorazepam.  It relaxed me. I feel like I faied, but I understand the need for self compassion, etc. 

On weekends prior to starting the outpatient intensive therapy program, I would have to work very hard to get myself out of bed.  If I did, I would usually end up back in bed at some point during the day.  I have not done that in weeks and I consider this a win.

I know that I must employ self compassion and a host of other tools that have been given to me in the last 4 weeks.  The program has been very educational but it really is like drinking from a firehose.  It's exhausing by the end of the day, and I now understand why the doctor doesn't want people working while fully emersed in the intensive program. 

I appreciate the program and I am thankful for the insurance that covers it and the short term disability that allows me to take off work while attending this deeply important and taxing work.

Overall, it's really stressful right now in life.  Just trying to make it through the maze.